It’s Not about What Happens To You, It’s about How You Respond To It

It’s Not about What Happens To You, It’s about How You Respond To It

The situations that we have in our Life right now has been shaped by the decisions that we have made until now.

Not that everything that has happened until now is our fault, but the way we respond to most of the situation influences our life.

Because our prespective influences our social circle and personal life to a large extend.

So, if we continue to approach a situation with Negative Mindset, and indulge ourselves in gossip and sabotaging talks, our life would take shape accordingly.

However, if we Learn to Control our response to the situation and stay positive despite the hardships, we conquer half the race.

Reaction and Response are Different

We all have some kind of reaction to situation in our life. Perhaps it can be simply an emotion of sadness or anger that we mask or our obvious body language.

Reactions can’t be controlled but our Response can be.

Mean comments from our bullies can’t be stopped but whether we let ourselves succumb to those comments can be controlled.

Life isn’t easy, infact, it is never going to be easy but it is these difficulties that make our life worth remembering.

The point is not to numb out your emotions, but to create a simple plan in the mind to overcome the difficulties of our life with a growth Mindset.

You are what you feed your Mind

Yet another lesson that I learned in my Journey is the importance of feeding mind the right thing.

Our mind is our most precious asset and if we don’t pay attention to what we are feeding it, things can take a wrong turn.

Because we are actively making path for weeds to grow in your head, leaving to an unplanned and uncontrolled future.

It may seem too much of a task but here’s the catch – You don’t have practice it the entire day.

And no matter how busy you are, you can you can always spare 10 minutes for meditation, to read one page of a book or to listen to a podcast while commuting.

How to Control our Response

1. Identify your Triggers

A girl looking out the window

Trigger refers to the emotions that stirrs up an instense emotion within us, despite the current mood.

Solving a problem superficially is not beneficial in the long-term, we need to get to the root. Therefore, If we wish to control our response, it is essential that we Identify those triggers.

But, how do we get started?

By paying attention to the situations that triggers us and trying to analyze the reason why it hurts us so bad.

It may seem difficult in the beginning but remember what they say? Practice makes a man perfect.

2. Escaping the Situation is not the Answer

2 hands about to join

The Easiest option in times of intense emotions would be to avoid or escape the situation.

But, how often does life goes according to the plan?!

Instead of trying to avoid or escape the situation, it’s better to face the circumstances because rejecting to address emotions only makes things worse.

Perhaps in the past, you were bullied for your skin tone. So, whenever someone compliments you, it may come off as sarcasm and hurt you.

In such situation, we should remind ourselves that it is not necessary that the past would repeat itself and allow ourselves to stop linking the present with the past.

3. Healthy Communication is Essential

2 men communicating

Humans are not capable of telepathy.

Naturally, if we want to interact with people around us, we have to be open and honest about our feelings instead of expecting others to assume.

If your friend or acquaintance does something that trigger you, don’t react in a passive aggression.

Rather explain that you don’t feel comfortable when they (for instance) snatch things from your hands and gracefully ask them to no repeat it.

But, incase the person is out-straight rude, speak your boundaries clearly and limit your interaction with them.

4. Mindfulness Helps

A girl Meditating

We can’t change our negative patterns until we recognize them, right?

Well, this is what mindfulness helps us in. It increases our level of self-awareness, motivating us to improve.

It helps us to gradually come to terms with our past and helps us from deep within.

Again as I said before, it just takes 5 to 10 minutes of regular meditation and and the right mindset to stay Mindful.

Journaling your mood and emotions regularly can help you analyze your patterns and overcome it.

5. Drop Toxic Relationships

Man and Woman Arguing

Controlling emotions is a difficult task in itself and things can get messy when some people keep trying to get under our skin.

If someone doesn’t respect your boundaries even after constant repetition, then you don’t have to put up with them.

Keep yourself ocuppied with something in their presence to avoid interaction with them, this may help you keep your mind sane.

6. Visit a Therapist

A guy attending therapy

The crucial step in this Journey is to identify the triggers, which can be daunting task in itself. It takes a lot of Practice, and falling in & off during the Journey to finally master this skill.

Having a professional to assist in this Journey would do wonders for your Mental health.

And the good News is that therapy doesn’t have to be expensive! Every budget group can afford a Therapist.

To Conclude…

Reactions are inevitable, but Response are not. They can be controlled.

The process may not be easy but with discipline and consistency, we can learn the art of controlling our emotions.

Thus, changing our Life Entirely.

5 responses to “It’s Not about What Happens To You, It’s about How You Respond To It”

  1. This is a great skill to practise through life. And it’s a very Stoic thing that I’m surprised you haven’t read Meditations yet. After all, we can’t control what happens to us, but we can definitely control what we do after that. Love your posts, Julie. Thanks for sharing!

    • I did buy the book actually couple of years ago, but I procrastinated on reading it.

      I love your posts even more! They are so insightful and valuable. Thanx for compliment though💫

  2. I totally agree with what you said. Especially, the part that mentions that we cannot escape the reality. The only way we can improve ourselves is by staying in tuned with the reality.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: